The Simpsons Movie: Ay Carumba or Exxxcellent?

After 400 episodes & 18 years, this cartoon sitcom finally hits the big screen. I actually did not expect so much from this movie and was generally surprised at the clever wit and satire used. But to be completly honest…it was exactly what you’d expect from The Simpsons Movie.

After watching the show for almost two decades, I was somewhat of a skeptic thinking it would be the same “ay carumba”, “d’oh”, “don’t have a cow man” kind of jokes but there were actually a few laugh-out-loud moments.

The movie is based on yet another Homer Simpson screw-up. And like many before, all Springfieldians are out to get him. I’m certain you can figure out the end yourself but its all the filler jokes that make this funny.

I personally found it better than a 20 minute episode because there was so much extra time to add outrageous jokes and asides and that’s what really makes this movie. Its not likely to be anacadamey award winner but its definitely some fine entertainment. I give it 4/5.

Dexter – What will they think of next?

The show Dexter stars Six Feet Under’s Michael C Hall who plays Dexter Morgan. Morgan works for the Miami Metro Police as a blood analyst but the twist is that he is also a serial killer.

Dexter’s adopted father recognized his sociopathic ways as a young boy and taught him how he could use his tendencies for good. What good can come of a killer, right? Well, Harry taught Dexter to use his ways to kill heinous killers and that way he would be helping the world when the law doesn’t always work.

And that is exactly what Dexter does throughout his whole life. He works for the Police and witnesses brutal crimes with many disturbing killers and so he takes the law into his own hands.

The show is very twisted but as it goes on viewers seem to get soft spot for this killer. In a weird way, you find yourself routing for Dexter and do not want him to get caught. It is bizarre how you can grow to love the character of a murderer just as you love this show.

Dexter is very well written and has such a unique plotline and quality acting. 5/5

Earthstorm: A Catastrophe of a Movie

Recently I watched the movie Earthstorm which starred all terrible B-actors in a made for TV movie . The plot was very familiar being that the world was going to end and needed to be saved. Twister, Independence Day, Day After Tomorrow, Armageadon…the list goes on and on with these types of flicks. But the latest addition; Earthstorm is truly a disaster.

The movie is based around a massive collission with the Earth and its moon, causing a crack in the moon which changes weather patterns. The moon continues to crack and the debry plumets to the Earth destroying civilization until Stephen Baldwin saves the day.

 

Throughout the movie we see horrible acting and the whole science its very sketchy. The writer forgot about the whole “loss of gravity” thing on the moon.

The movie was predictable, scientifically incorrect and unbelievable. I give it a 1/5

Ocean’s 13: Sink or Swim

Steven Soderbergh’s latest Ocean’s flick has recently been released to DVD and as a previous Ocean’s fan I was more than excited to view this movie.

In this movie Al Pacino has joined the cast but not as part of Ocean’s crew. Pacino plays Willie Bank, the villian, whose role is almost identical to that of Andy Garcia in the original. And speaking of Garcia, he’s back in Ocean’s Thirteen but this time not to get  revenge on Ocean.

 If one had not seen the two previous Ocean’s films, then this would be a great heist flick. However, it seemed as though this just could not top the original plotlines. Some of the ideas were very unique but I wasn’t thrilled with the plot.

 If you’re a fan of the Ocean’s movies and all the shocking schemes involved then unfortunately this may leave you wanting more. It wasn’t horrible but it wasn’t Soderbergh’s best work. 3/5

Reality Show: Crowned: A Mother of A Waste of Time

After Beauty & The Geek ended and America’s Next Top Model, CW must have been desperate to fill air time. The latest reality show airing on CW is Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants.

Let me start by saying I actually love reality television and get addicted to watching the lives of characters. I have watched some fairly lame shows and found a way to enjoy them but not with this new piece of garbage. The show is based on mother-daughter pageant queens who compete to become “Crowned” and win $100,000…but if each week a team is de-sashed.

I find these mother-daughter duos very disturbing. The cougar-like mothers are trying with every last surgery to appear young again and the envy they have for their daughters is outright pathetic.  The daughters are no better with their catty, spoiled, and bitchy attitudes and extremely poor acting skills.

So the characters on the show are horrible but the show itself is lame. The challenges they face are ridiculous. I actually wasted 20 minutes of my life watching these rejects learn to smile at a “Smile Clinic”. I honestly cannot say enough bad things about this show – It is horrible.

To sum up, don’t waste your time. You’ll get a better thrill watching paint dry. In its genre Crowned receives 0/5.

Fight Movie: Undisputed II – Hit or Miss??

Not having watched the entire original movie, Undisputed, I suppose I can only half-critique this movie. But from what I saw of the original, it was a typical boxing-fight flick. The movie led up to the big fight and you could guess the result without even watching the fight.

But now, comes the sequel…Undisputed II (Last Man Standing). Although the original was based in prison too, this movie contains more of the gruesome prison life (which I enjoy). Where most fight movies can be semi-predictable, this one threw me a few times. In Undisputed II Ving Rhames is replaced by Michael Jai White, and we have no arguments there. White was BUILT and played a great role as George Chambers…in fact, I may argue that he did a better job.  His build was definitely better than Rhames massive size for the contender in Undisputed II.

The opponent and main contender in the movie did a good job. In reality I think his Jiu-Jitsu and grapelling experience would beat Chambers heavy-weight boxing expertise, but not in Hollywood. This guy was crazy and the speed, force and height of his moves was unreal. I guess that’s why its only a movie, right? (check out the picture below…insane).

 

If you like prison movies and fight flicks, and are up for seeing some unrealistic moves (that are damn cool), then give this one a shot. In its genre I give it a 4/5.

Take 1: One Starlet’s Movie ( & TV) Reviews

Hello everyone and thanks for taking the time to read my blog. I’d like to introduce myself – my name is Chelsea and like many people, I enjoy movies and television. I am young and into the entertainment scene and would like to start a daily blog on my reviews of the movies and television shows I watch.

Movies and television shows are something I do to pass the time when I’m free and they are not always my pick (Just like my first review of Undisputed II – to follow. I was not thrilled to watch another typical fight flick but was surprised in the end at the entertainment value. )

I hope you enjoy my posts just as much as I enjoy writing them. Thanks